Ichika's and Hayate's Misadventures
by sword-art-offline
Summary: This is a spin-off of the event's in chapter one of Ichika's Ranting Thoughts, this story is about if Hayate became a IS pilot, and also because he is always mistaken as a girl.


**Hi, I'm sword-art's co-op writer, Thepictoad. My style is a lot different from his, could you tell? Also, did you notice how the story's punctuation was a lot better? That was from me. :D**

**If you like Kid Icarus, try reading my story! Also, I have my own Infinite Stratos one-shot. Check it out if you have the time.**

**It's great to be writing for this different audience, and I'll see you in the next chapter! Any thoughts, Sword-Art?**

**Well I have to say that my punctuation is not that bad...hopefully, but anyway this story is a spin-off of chapter 1 of Ichika's Ranting Thoughts, so tell us what you think!**

**Review Please.**

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_'Oh man, what should I do?'_ Hayate thought, '_I know! I'll go up to the IS and touch it. Since I am a boy, it won't activate, and I can leave.'_ Hayate then walked up to the IS unit.

_'Better touch this IS so I can get out of here and back to Miss Hinagiku.'_ Hayate thought.

Hayate's fingers hovered over the machine. He nervously chuckled to himself. "By what chance could a guy activate this thing anyway?" Hayate touched the IS. _'Oh wait didn't something like this happen, I believe I watched something like this somewhere.'_

The IS emitted a bright flash of light, and Hayate was momentarily stunned. He thought he could feel metal wrapping around his waist, arms, and legs, but he wasn't sure.

A few seconds later the light faded, "Whew. That was bright." When he moved his hand, he noticed there was a huge, metallic green glove wrapped around it. "What the…"

Hayate looked down at his body. It was completely wrapped in the IS unit he had just touched! He thought about moving his feet, and the IS responded by moving a little bit.

"Wait a second! This isn't a Uchigane! it's a Refale Revive, I got my models off...wait how do I know what model this is in the first place?

The loudspeaker crackled again. "Okay you, get ready. The first part of the test is a basic obstacle course. No objects to destroy here. Next, there will be multiple targets. You must destroy at least 88% to be considered being admitted into our academy."

"Talk about high standards," Hayate thought.

Hayate sighed. The IS unit mimicked his sigh, although Hayate had not bonded with this IS to notice it yet.

"Guess there's no way of convincing you I'm a guy without the 'real' proof. Just like with how I serve Ojo-sama, I should do my best." Hayate primed one of his Garm guns (.61 caliber SMG)

"Test starting in 3… 2… 1…"

Hayate inhaled.

"Begin. Do you your best."

Hayate exhaled.

Hayate thought about flying through the air relatively quickly. He saw a 90-degree turn coming up, so he thought about taking it sharp and fast.

Hayate's IS rounded the corner at breakneck speed, and smoothly exited the drift and sped up again.

The overseer of the test gave a nod. "Not bad."

Up ahead was a zigzag, with each zigzag being 45 degrees.

_'So I think about my actions, and they happen? Cool! Anyway, take these zigzags fast, but careful!'_ Hayate thought.

The IS did exactly what Hayate told it to. It cleanly took the zigzag pattern and sped up again.

A circular pattern came up. Hayate breezed around the slow incline downward.

A voice rang out in his head. "There will be other people firing at you. Dodge their fire." The instructor said.

"Hey, what?" Hayate asked.

A shot past inches from Hayate's face. "Wah!"

Hayate saw another IS firing at him. The instructor fired again.

_'Dodge left! Dodge right! Dodge up! Return fire!'_ Hayate thought.

Hayate brought up the IS' gun and it fired multiple times. Each shot landed squarely in the woman's stomach area. Hayate's gun was designed for close-range shooting, however, he hit his mark from quite a distance.

"Impressive." The speaker said.

Using the diversion, Hayate thought, _'Go fast, fast, fast!'_ Every time he said fast in his mind, the IS sped up.

The targets were coming up. Hayate re-primed his gun and fired at each target while moving.

Hayate missed seven targets out of forty-five.

"This girl's got ok skill."

The obstacle course continued. More Instructors fired at him,the blows he felt were pretty rough, but not as bad as he thought they'd be.

One IS fired a rocket at him.

_'That won't be good if it hits me. I better move!'_ Hayate thought.

Hayate attempted to move left and tried to lose the rocket, but it was a homing missile.

"Well that's no good," Hayate said out loud. He then noticed the metal on the IS' shins was a different material than the rest of the unit…

"Let's see if she knows what to do here. That missile won't explode if she fires at it." The instructor just smirked.

_'Is that… Diamond on the shin area?'_ Hayate thought. He then remembered that even though the world had progressed, then only material that could scratch a diamond was still a diamond.

_'Can I send the missile back by shin-kicking it?'_ Hayate thought. Only one way to find out.

The missile closed in. Hayate slowed to a stop and pulled his leg back…

"That is not what I expected her to do." The speaker said in interest.

"Wasn't she supposed to activate the shield?"

"Yes. My guess is that she noticed there is a small patch of diamond on the shins. If she kicks it correctly…"

Hayate shin-kicked the missile right on the patch of diamond. The missile bounced off his shin and rocketed back to the instructor before she had time to react.

The rocket exploded in a burst of smoke. The instructor was enveloped, and her IS crumpled to the ground.

Hayate felt a little bad for the woman, but this was his test. He needed to move. "Accelerate!"

The IS took off again. The melee combat was up next. There were a few human-sized crash dummies scattered around the arena.

The voice rang out again. "Destroy them all."

"Ok."

Hayate thought about activating his pre-equipped knife. It shot out of his wrist in a beam of light. It wasn't much, just a reinforced combat knife (Bread Slicer). But it would work. Hayate charged the dummies and cut them up. He spoke to no one, "I'm done."

The voice came back. "Good. Head over to arena 3. Incidentally, how are you feeling?"

"All right, I feel fine, just a little sore from the shots that hit me."

The instructor spoke into her mic. "Good. Now go."

"Roger, ma'am."

She set her headset down and smiled. "Such an obedient little girl she is."

The other person spoke to Chifuyu. "Doesn't she look a little bit like a boy?" Yamada-sensei zoomed in on Hayate's face.

Chifuyu glanced at Hayate. "Hmm. Kind of."

**(And now, we move into the ever-peaceful *cough* life of Ichika Orimura)**

"Orimura."

"Yeah, sis?"

_(Wham!)_

"Gah!"

"Orimura-sensei!"

"Yes ma'am?!"

Chifuyu gave a short nod "Go to arena 3 and suit up."

"Um, why?" Ichika asked.

"Just go. You won't regret it."

_'Hmm… Is this a trick?'_ Ichika wondered, but Chifuyu had already walked away.

"Arena 3… That's a little over that way." Ichika pointed in no direction in particular.

Ichika was walking through the halls when he heard footsteps behind him. He turned around and saw Houki.

"Hey, Houki. What's up?"

Houki stopped. "I was going to ask you the same thing."

Ichika did his trademark rub-the-back-of-my-head-when-I'm-talking-to-girls. "I'm headed over to arena 3."

Houki was confused. "Why? Someone supposed to fight you?"

"I don't even know, Chifuyu-sensei said I should immediately go suit up."

Houki paused. "Um… W-would it b-be okay… If I came with you?" She was getting a bit red.

"Sure! I was just about to ask if you wanted to come along to see what this is all about."

"O-okay."

As Ichika started to walk again, Houki followed behind. "He asked me to come along with him…"

Ichika stopped. "What, Houki?"

She sighed. "N-nothing. Let's go, Ichika."

**(Fast forward to Ichika getting ready in the locker room)**

"Is this some special conditioning drill Chifuyu wanted me to do?" Ichika sighed. "Does she think I'm getting out of shape?...Well I did go crazy with dinner a week ago…"

A sound of a fan flicking out made Ichika jump. When he turned, Tatenashi held her fan out towards him. It read, _**"Some things are strange."**_ She flicked her fan back.

"Tatenashi! What are you doing here?" Ichika asked in a dead-pan voice.

"I'm giving you some advice, Ichika. Some things may surprise you." Tatenashi turned, and walked away.

She flicked her fan again. This time it read, _**"Good things come to those who wait."**_

Ichika shook his head. "I can't understand women. Especially her."

"I heard that, I-chi-ka." Tatenashi called out from around the corner.

"Eh! I forgot she has good hearing. Okay, time to suit up." Ichika pulled the uniform over his head.

"I'm ready. Let's get this over with."

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**Well what did you guy's think?**


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